Why “Soul Searching” Often Ends Up In Disappointment

Have you ever felt so lost or clueless at some point in your life that you felt the need to go somewhere to find yourself? We all do, and as a matter of fact, no one is exempted from going through this kind of experience. In one way or another, we will find ourselves overwhelmed, confused about what to do in life.

To cope up with such feeling, most people embark on a journey called “Soul Searching”. During this time, we travel to different places, meet different people hoping for the AHA! moment when we finally figure out our true selves and the purpose of why we are alive in the first place.

But despite doing this for a long time, after spending money and time to travel with the goal of finding one’s self, why is it that nothing ever changes deep inside? The same feeling of emptiness and confusion keeps coming back over and over again.

Robert Penn Warren

Robert Penn Warren gave a very profound answer  when he said “For the self is never to be found, but must be created, not the happy accident of passivity, but the product of a thousand actions, large and small, conscious or unconscious, performed not “away from it all,” but in the face of “it all,” for better or for worse, in work and leisure rather than in free time.”

What did Robert Pen Warren mean in this statement?

1. “For the self is never to be found, but must be created”

If the self is to be found, then why should many successful people work more than 50 hours a week doing what they do? The truth is, there is no such thing as finding yourself somewhere else. Where you are is where your SELF is. The key to finding it is by working hard, dedicating the time and effort required for your own personal development until you become the person you intend to be. This takes time of course”, but is the sure way to go. You don’t go out there to find yourself, CREATE it!

2. “Not the happy accident of passivity, but the product of a thousand actions”

Self discovery happens not when you are relaxing on a beach somewhere but when you are completely  immersed in whatever you are doing. Capitalizing on every opportunity to learn from the enriching experiences at work. If what you do is not helping you know yourself better, then maybe it’s time to look for new one. It is important that what you do everyday helps you grow as a person and contributes to your self-awareness. If your work is not helping you understand yourself, then nothing ever will.

3. "Not away from it all, but in the face of  it all”

People oftentimes think of taking a “Time Out” from school or work  to get away from it all  hoping to find  themselves somewhere else. Only to be frustrated not finding what they look for. Mainly because knowing who you are is a matter of putting yourself into test. You will know a person by how he responds to problems- same is true with our own selves. Facing challenges upfront results to better understanding of how we are built as a person and therefore being able to make relevant adjustments from there.

4. "For better or for worse, in work and leisure rather than in free time"

Self discovery happens not when you are idle,  but when you are actively working on something valuable. When you are working on something significant, you identify yourself into that purpose. For instance, a person advocating the preservation of the environment will perceive  it as his purpose for living. Therefore, his behavior, decision making and personality are all aligned to that advocacy. It becomes a part of his identity and a major guiding principle of how he lives.

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